God’s Word tells us that children are precious, wanted, and a blessing. They are tiny people that we get to lead to Him, our Savior. We cannot take anything we own to heaven with us, but we could spend forever with them in Heaven. They are worth our time.

If they are so worth it, how do you show them that? Getting to know our children on a personal level is the best way to let them know how important they are to us. But how do we do that???

Being a parent of many children has certain challenges with it. My least favorite is the time to connect with each child on a personal, individual level. With six children, I try to make sure to work on this with them each throughout the week.

It takes a lot of time to take care of children, and even more so to clean up after them, but they are worth more than just the effort to feed and clothe them. They are born persons and desire to be treated as such. They can teach us as parents so many things, whether that be about ourselves or how they view the world. I have a few children that show me a view of the world that I would never see myself, and it’s beautiful. As parents, we get the opportunity to show them the earthly example of how much our Heavenly Father loves and cares for us by doing that for our children to the best of our ability. Just as God cares about us and the “little” things in our lives, we can use His example in parenting our children while we have the opportunity.

Okay, so we get that it’s important. It’s important to our children, and it’s important to us. How do I actually connect with my children as the mother of many? I’m sure other parents have so many other ideas, but here are a few ways I attempt to reach them during their years at home with me:

1. Begin and end each day with your children with a hug. I begin our day with giving each of my children a hug and say good morning. This gives me a minute to read their mood as well and see if there is something going on that needs discussed or addressed. Each night, I hug them one at a time to tell them good night and that I love them. A couple of the middle kids even have special hug routines that are unique to that child. It’s kind of like a secret handshake but kisses on the cheeks, hugs, and I love you in sign language. They feel like something is missing if they do not get to do their special good night hug. It means a lot to them.
2. Go to their space, into their world, and check in on them regularly. I go to their room once a week or so, sit in their room with them, and see what’s going on. I try to not get too distracted and hung up on just pointing out the mess, but rather see them for who they are in their world they feel is most theirs. I see what they find important enough to hang on their walls before bed. I see what they’re currently reading by checking what book is awaiting them in bed. See what they’re working on, what they put in places that have more importance, and if there’s anything they want to show you. It’s interesting what they find important, sometimes surprising and not what you’d expect. So let them tell you all about their doll and what she’s wearing. Listen to them explain useless facts about their Pokémon cards. Hear their long drawn-out dreams they want to tell you every detail of. Give them a minute to feel that what they like or have to say is important…because it really is, especially to them.
3. Go on dates with each as you can. Sometimes I take one of my children out on an evening alone. We may go out to eat, go shopping, go see a movie if anything is worth seeing, or whatever it is that we feel like doing. Each one I take out tells me multiple times that they love the one-on-one time with me. It’s a precious time without so many needs pulling me to other distractions that exist at home so that I can talk to them and get to know them. I ask questions about their favorite animals, colors, books, activities, or whatever else I am curious about. I tell them stories about me in the past that they may not know because I don’t get to chat with them about me much. Being a parent is more business than play when children are young so this gives me a time to show them more about me as well, not just ask them about them.
4. Have special time with them at home. Play a game with just one or two children. Watch a tv show or movie that you both love at night after everyone else has gone to bed. Hide in the pantry together to sneak a snack that no one else knows about as your own little secret (which of course I don’t ever do….). Spend a few minutes or a few hours with one or two kids and do something you both enjoy if you can, or at least something that kid enjoys. I can enjoy a puzzle all day long, but if I try to do that with my second oldest, he’d think it was torture. That would not be enjoyable at all to him. I can handle a little boredom on my part if it means a lot to them, though. Hopefully you can find something you both enjoy!
5. Learn something new together. Find a new craft, hobby, or language to learn together. One of my children has gotten into leather work and sometimes I look up things for him to try, or try to figure something out with him. My daughter likes a lot of the same pastimes that I do so we can do crafting or puzzles together. One child likes doing simple bought crafts or making things out of clay. Learning it together not only gives them a life skill of some sort, but gives you intentional time together, which will mean just as much or more in the future as you look back on those moments together.
6. (My favorite tip!) Do a book club one child at a time. A few summers ago I had a newborn and was sad that I wasn’t getting time to connect with my older children. Three of them at the time were reading, and they are readers who read daily. I asked each of them to suggest a book they wanted me to read that they enjoyed and then we could discuss it afterwards. My boys chose books that were a bit boring to me as it was not a topic I enjoyed (Star Wars), but I knew that we could discuss it afterwards so I read them. I ended up reading a few more books after that as the first was one of a series. We then had fun discussing the book together and shared some of our most memorable or favorite parts. My daughter chose what ended up being one of my favorite series to read, the Giver series. She knew me well and enjoyed those books, and so did I. It not only allowed me read some new material, but gave another way to enter their world (see number 2 above!) and see what’s going on in their heads. I’ll probably do this again this year because it was so loved by us all. The kids still talk about it and have suggestions all of the time for what they would ask me to read if I decide to do it again.

There are so many ways to carve out a minute to get to know your children! This is just a small list of ideas. You’ll have to find what works for you, but I hope this inspires you to seek out the best way for YOU to connect with your children, whether it be one or ten!

Let me know your ideas or ways you’ve found that work! I’m always open to trying something new if it works for our family!